Truth In The Eyes Reveal Everything
There is truth is the eyes and our eyes reveal everything there is to know about us.
When we meet someone we can sense something about them immediately. Even though we might not be capable of putting it into words, the awareness of something is there.
You can tell if someone is tired or depressed. You can tell if someone is happy and delighted to meet you. Beyond the words someone speaks you can feel something else.
Ever try to hide something from someone? Of course you have, everyone has. I have too.
You’ve done something you regret or taken a position on a subject that, on reflection maybe you shouldn’t have. Or maybe you’re in negotiation for a business deal. Ego says you’ve got to hold your ground.
Whatever happens stick to your guns, give nothing away.
You can try to hide it but something in your eyes will always give it away. Although those on the end of your half truth or outright deception can’t say for certain, they realise that something isn’t quite right.
There’s something in the eyes that shows the truth of what’s in our hearts and we know it.
The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them – Paulo Coelho
The Fear Response
It’s like our state of mind pours out our eyes.
When we are sure and confident we can hold a stare. But when we doubt our own convictions, or have no conviction to begin with then the game is up.
When we try to force something we know is untrue for us we can often have a physiological response like a knot in the gut. We know what we’re feeling is contrary to the truth and if we look their way we lose.
That’s not to say that our position is inherently wrong, but rather we believe it to be so.
Children seem to know this intuitively.
When they do something wrong, their reaction is to avoid eye contact and look at the floor.
Maybe this is a learned reaction, but it’s one that we generally take to adulthood. When we feel negative emotion we do everything possible to avoid eye contact.
It’s all fear response and is the action of the ego in an attempt to preserve itself.
When I draw a portrait, the eyes are often the trickiest element of the drawing to get right. They have to be perfect or I fail to capture the essence of the person. Once I get the eyes right everything else will follow.
Any portrait artist or photographer will tell you this.
The Psychology of Eye Contact
There are many conflicting societal norms when it comes to eye contact. On one hand we believe that staring is bad manners, on the other hand we believe making eye contact is good practice in relationships.
Psychologists have begun to take a closer look at eye contact and behaviour.
In a recent experiment conducted by psychologist Evan F. Risko, participants were positioned across from another person in a waiting room. Researchers secretly tracked their eye movements and saw that they rarely looked at the stranger. They found participants spent more time staring at a vacant chair in the waiting room.
A second group were instructed to watch a live video of a stranger sitting in the same waiting room. On this occasion participants spent most of their time staring at the stranger, and very little time looking at the empty chair.
Researchers found the results are due to what has become known as civil inattention. It appears that in many social circumstances where we are in the company of strangers we are uncomfortable engaging in conversation so we avoid eye contact.
In face-to-face encounters also, whether we make eye contact or not depends on many factors. Perception of our social status has a bearing on whether we make eye contact with another person.
In a variation on the first experiment, researchers had participants engage with each other over video link. The findings showed in this case that eye contact was less where an individual felt inferior to their counterpart.
When they believed that the other person could not see them, the results reversed.
Many of us feel uncomfortable making eye contact with those we feel superior to us. Results of this experiment seem to confirm that our often perceived inferiority shows in our eyes and we’d much rather keep it secret.